A Happy Thanksgiving 


Thanksgiving in my family has always been celebrated at my parents house. For as long as I can remember, family from near and far would gather at “our” house for the holiday.  

Over the years the flow of thanksgiving has changed tremendously. The reality is, we are all grown up now and have our own families. Through the years the attendance has gotten smaller and smaller. This year was a small turn out in comparison to previous years. While that was the case I am thankful for the family that I did get to see. I am thankful that my children have grandparents they can see and be apart of their traditions. 

My mom always sets her tables so beautifully. I am constantly complimented on my ability to decorate or set up a room. Well folks, can you see why? 

My parents and aunts always start preparing the night before. There is a lot of prep that goes into making a thanksgiving dinner for 20 to 30 people.  I can remember being a kid and we couldn’t step foot in the kitchen before dinner on thanksgiving day. We would be so hungry and the smell of all that delicious food didn’t help. One thing about thanksgiving food, it really is this wonderful comfort food that you only get once a year. 

It was nice for the kids to spend some time at my parents house. Although we live close busy lives stand in the way of regular or consistent visits. Mom gave Nelope a bath and put her Jammie’s on after dinner. It’s been quite sometime since she’s had a “Grana Bath.” 

Dinner was amazing as expected. I ate smoked turkey which was to die for. Dads delicious Macaroni and cheese, yams, collard greens, dressing, ham and a couple of rolls. Those little brown and serve rolls have been giving me life since I was a kid. Preston grubbed up too! 

We spent the rest of the evening after dinner playing games like we always do. This year we added a few new games to the mix. The fun one for me was bringing out the oldie but goodie… Jenga! We played several rounds of this, Apples to Apples, Guesstures and a few others. Each year the winners and winning teams of the games always get lotto scratchers. 
In memory of my brother-wother Demetri, I want to share a funny story. One year my brother had fake scratchers. They were winning tickets. After the games, when my sister passed out the scratchers she passed my mom the winning ticket. She flipped out, screaming, yelling with excitement. It was sooo funny because we knew it was bullshit. Then when we read her the terms of the scratcher she caught on that it was a fake. She was so mad. I think I got a whoopin that night for sure. My brother was such a prankster. The scratchers always remind me of that year. 

Overall I’d say I had a nice thanksgiving day. Especially since I had a little anxiety about going. There were a coupe little annoying things that happened but hey, what “normal” family doesn’t have just a little bit of drama? 

Until Next Time… 

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DAY 23: Finding The Words To Say

I really can’t believe this road has already been 23 days long. If you have been keeping up with me on YouTube then you are seeing the video documentary part of this process.

Today during the morning pages I think I really had a breakthrough in terms of creative thinking. I really chose today to just allow the words to flow fourth from me onto the page. I was able to get some pretty good things down. So that was a plus for today.

So far, I am still experiencing the idea of synchronicity and something really small but big to me happened.

The other day I really wanted a Western Bacon Cheeseburger from a place called Carls Jr. A local fast food chain. If you are from the mid-west or east coast I believe it is called Hardy’s.  I was going to go and get one of these delicious burgers but ended up passing it by due to timing. Skip forward to the next night, some time shortly after midnight my husband walks in from a night out. I was asleep on the couch however usually when he walks in I wake up. I said “hi” to him and noticed the two fast food bags he placed on the table.

I was not fully awake, more like in that state where I was aware of what was going on but when I woke up in the morning fully, I could potentially think I had dreamt it all.  Since I was in a state of half sleep, half awake the next time I opened my eyes my hubs was munching away on something that appeared to be a chicken sandwich at first glance.

See, whenever he gets home late, Jack in the Box is one of his go to late night food runs, so I automatically assumed he was eating a sandwich from there.  When I asked what it was he was eating he says to me “a western bacon cheeseburger!”

No freaking way!!

I of course asked for some and proceeded to take several bites then quickly after went back to sleep but not before sharing with him how crazy I thought it was that I was just talking about wanting one of these but didn’t get the opportunity to get one the day before and here he just brings one home. I guess the reason it is so big is because he never goes to Carl’s Jr. and when he does, he most often always orders the Famous Star.

So was this an example of thoughts becoming things? Of abundance? Of Synchronicity? I’m going to chalk it up as a big fat yes!! 

Other than that y’all, it’s been so far so good on my 84 days. See you back for more of my 84 day journey through the Artist’s Way!

 

xx addie

DAY 17: I Forgot About This

DAY:17  New Opportunities Flow to Me In Abundance

I am not quite sure why it has taken me this long to realize that I should have been documenting this journey here in writing too. However, today is the first day that the thought truly crossed my mind. So hey, here I am.

Today marks the 17th day that I am actively working through the book, The Artist’s Way. I decided to take on the process of the journey to clear any creative blocks and get on a right track to move forward in a positive way in my life. I want to write a book and I have been feeling creatively blocked for quite some time.

Let’s face it, I’ve been only talking about making changes to my life, while helping others actually make changes to theirs for many years. While things aren’t terrible, I have definitely been in a sort of weird funk. Trying to return to movement after two years off, establishing a home routine, running an online shop, being a stay at home mom, trying to be a good wife… I mean I got a lot of shit going on that weighs on me. Trying to also fulfill the role of author, workshop facilitator, movement instructor, Etsy shop owner and subscription box curator just seems so far-fetched. Somehow though, the infinite divine of course, has continued to lead me right where I need to be.

I came across The Artist’s Way simply by browsing around on YouTube like I always do for my morning dose of motivation. This is where I take a walk to get my kid to school and listen to something positive and uplifting on the way home. I have probably listened to hundreds of YouTube videos and I’ve read (or heard rather) about 10 to 15 audiobooks.  The week before I started The Artist’s Way I found a video of a guy documenting his journey. Something about the way he did these daily videos really got me thinking of truly taking the action steps to change my life and document my own journey.  I say truly because most often, as a self-help book junkie, I will read a book, think the ideas or solutions to common issues are brilliant but never actually go in and apply the steps the books lay out. Therefore, obviously never-changing anything about myself. At least not on a deep level the way most personal development books intend. This time something was totally different.

I purchased the book and started morning pages immediately. However I didn’t make a commitment to really do the 12 week program that makes up the book until the following week. I will go in and do some written updates as to how these days/weeks went. In the meantime they are available as video diaries on my YouTube channel. You can check out days 1-12 here so far.

Since I have started this process I think I have already began to feel a shift taking shape in my life. A real one. My mindset is changing. Gratitude, affirmations and really focusing on that which I want is becoming the priorities of my life. This has been great because the book takes you through a series of questions. Each week there are tasks and homework writing prompts to answer and do. These are the true gems of the whole program aside from the ever so popular morning pages. More on that in another post.  I am truly starting to believe in the things that I am affirming in my life. Negative talk is starting to fade and I am experiencing synchronicity like crazy.

I don’t want to over commit myself to anything at this point, especially not anything that will cause me to have negative self talk. So I am not going to promise to do daily updates here at this point but I will post as the spirit moves me. I will for sure stop in each week and do my Weekly review and highlights. I am actually feeling a bit happy and giddy about writing out some of what I have been experiencing as opposed to just keeping a video. Sometimes things happen later in the day after I have already posted a video and then I forget to mention it. So this opens a great door to be able to still share those things on my heart.

Until next time my sweet friends,

Thoughts create things, so think positive!

Addie G

Embrace

Embrace.

Every morning for the last six weeks or so I have been walking my daughter to school. It first began because of a change in our situation that caused us to only have one vehicle. We used to have two, so this sudden change in circumstance forced me into walking to drop off and walking to pick up my second grader.

After the first week and a half of walking or so, I took on this sort of- positivity challenge if you will. I’ve heard and read about so many instances where people started saying affirmations thus changing their perspectives and ultimately drawing those things which they spoke out, into their lives.

At this point in my life I am already beginning to change my thought patterns, questioning “Why NOT Me?” Why can’t I be successful in my endeavors? Why can’t I make a million dollars? Why can’t I travel the world? Why can’t I buy a big home or write a best selling book? Other people can and do these things, so why not me? With these thoughts already in mind I decided that every morning that I walked my daughter to school, not only would I be getting the exercise I desperately need, but I would listen to something positive. A podcast, A YouTube video or an audiobook. Something uplifting was going to penetrate my subconscious through the medium of my phone and a bright green set of beats. 

I will be doing a series of posts on this journey soon but in the meantime I wanted to share with you what happened on my morning walk today.

Like many women (survey says approximately 90%),  I have insecurities relating to body image and a pretty tumultuous relationship with my body. My biggest obsession is my soft, squishy belly. I always think of this area of my body in a negative way. Of course, once upon a time, I sported a nice set of abs. Never a super six-pack but a “nice” mid section, according to the “media standard.” The so called “bikini worthy” body – whatever that means.  I have also had thin thighs and a nice ass, if I do say so myself. Over the years however, things have changed. I currently am about 30lbs heavier than I am used to and I feel every bit of it. More so, I have four children now and adjusting to this life of mine hasn’t left me with much time for anything else. 

Like many others, I never give praise to my soft belly for that which it has endured. I never express any gratitude for it’s function. I take for granted it’s ability to stretch beyond my wildest imagination and back. I don’t own the scars it dawns as the “mama bear marks” that they are. No. All of my communication surrounding this area of my body has been negative, harsh, and abusive to some degree. This area of my body that houses my life giving organs, the home to my second chakra, the seat of my emotions. This area that protects my major organs and digestive organs. Somehow, when I think of my stomach in this way, being so overly obsessed with how “bad” I think it looks when I stare in the mirror (because I am comparing myself to some past version of … my self) seems awful petty.

Everyday I have been repeating very meaningful “I AM” affirmations to myself through out my day. I listen to the “positive stuff” during my walk each morning and I have to say, things have been looking or rather feeling, up. Not even that my physical circumstances have changed drastically because they haven’t. However, the way I feel about myself, my circumstances and my life in general is over all way more positive. 

Today much like every other day, I find myself sucking in my stomach whenever I walk by or am near people.  I have been doing this for so long it is almost like an instant reflex. It just happens. Today, I was consciously aware of the very moment I felt the need to pull my belly button in to my spine. Except this morning something different happened. This morning, almost simultaneously as I pulled in my navel a stream of questions came to me in a quiet stern voice and said ” Who are you doing it for?”, ” Why are you ashamed and afraid ?” And “How does it all feel?”  and then I had a remarkable transformative moment… the voice then said in a powerful and commanding tone,

“Own it!”

“Change is gradual. Mercy is grand! Have mercy, and own it.”

So I let go.

I released the tension I used to pull my belly button in to my spine and I kept on walking. I let it all just hang loose. 

I wanted to take a moment to answer the questions that came to me this morning because questions lead to clarity:

Who are you doing it for?

 I truly had no idea because was I really sucking in my stomach for me? Perhaps it was for the cars passing by. The fact that maybe someone would see me and think I looked (gasps) fat! When I think back to this occurrence, in hindsight, it was all very ridiculous and has been for years. The reality is, no one cares. And if someone out there does care enough to call me or think I look… fat, well then damnit,  good for them! LOL. I had become so accustomed to “pretending” my stomach was flat that I routinely tensed up in order to suck it in and for what? To pretend to be “skinny” for people I don’t even know? REALITY CHECK MOMENT.

Why are you ashamed and/or afraid ?

Because I gained weight. Except, when I really detail this question, even when I was a reasonable weight I still felt like my belly was an issue. A problem area. This really all happened after I had my first baby. I gained a lot of weight and it didn’t fall off right away, or really at all. Every time I lost any weight and started to feel good again Pregnancy adorned me and the process started all over again. I think I have never truly had time to heal from any of the previous distorted body image issues before tacking on new ones with each pregnancy. Plus, there is this huge social platform that tells us what is and what isn’t beautiful. A big, soft, bulging mid section doesn’t exactly classify me as “hot stuff.” Yet then the question remains, to who, and why do they matter? 

How does it feel? 

This was a big one because the moment I continued to walk, belly un-sucked, I was able to observe the feeling. It felt… jiggly. LOL.  Although it was slightly uncomfortable, I was reminded in this moment of feeling just what it means to truly be present. What it means to fully embrace something. In this moment, I embraced my body for what it was right here in the now and I was at complete peace about it. I didn’t care who drove by, I knew that what I looked like on the outer was a reflection of what was going on on the inner and my inner was bursting with acceptance and confidence. Somehow I felt better than before. 

I truly believe that in that moment of the release, when I let go, everything changed.

I walked the rest of the way to my daughters school and all the way back home completely un-sucked. I didn’t die, nobody screamed “fat ass” out of their car window as they passed by. I survived and I actually felt really good about myself.

So in turn, I ask you the same three questions today. Apply them to any area of your life that you need to more readily embrace. Ask yourself, who are you doing it for? Finding out the why is the only way to cultivate forward movement. Why are you ashamed and/or fearful? What shame lies underneath  your actions? Guilt? What is the ultimate fear? Last, How does it feel? Think of this on a three fold level. What does it feel like physically? To the body? To the mind- mentally, to the heart- emotionally, when it comes to the feeling. How does it feel to sit in those feelings? 

Then embrace and move forward my SUNshine! 

Drop me a line. What do you need to embrace? Or just say hey 

 

Late Night Post…

I’ve been sitting around contemplating what to blog about since the moment I created a blog. The crazy thing about it is, I truly believe that, I have a lot to say. The problem is that I am in no habit of writing. Which I’m convinced it is definitely going to take a habit to blog regularly. I used to write. I used to write almost daily, then somewhere, I fell off. 

Writing is something that usually requires very little thought for me. I am kind of weird I guess because often I think as if I’m reading a book. I’m not sure if that even makes sense but that is how it happens. I think I have this notion that I must be “in the mood” to write in order to get something “good” on the page.  I wish like hell it were that easy but I have other things going on daily that don’t exactly allow me the freedom or flexibility to write whenever I’m “in the mood.” 

I am a wife, a mother of four children who demand my attention from the moment they step out of be till the moment they are peacefully sleeping like angels and it’s quiet again. Except, when it is finally quiet all I’m usually ready to do is knock out or binge watch something on Netflix. Writing goes to the back burner and the process repeats itself the next day. Eventually so many days go by and I realize 

I haven’t posted a blog in days, weeks, months… 

So here we are, it’s 11:44 on a Sunday night. The house is quiet. My babies are asleep, my husband is watching some strange movie and I am laying on the couch. I really want stalk my favorite people on Instagram and knock out but here I am. Typing this blog post because well, 

I haven’t posted a blog in days… 

Now that I have posted a blog… Good Night favorite friends. 

XX, 

Addie

A Perfect Mother’s Day

This year I wasn’t sure about Mother’s day. Probably in large part to the fact that I’ve currently been dealing with my own personal issues with my mother. We have never really had the closest relationship and this year she really said some things that hurt me. I am not sure if she is aware of this fact as we haven’t really spoken much since the said incident occurred.

Due to the fact that I have been keeping my distance, I had a hard time deciding what to get for her as well as contemplating if I was even going to go over to her house for any portion of the day. Somewhere around Thursday or Friday leading up to Mother’s day the guilt started to set in. I had to put my big girl panties on and realize, that no matter what I might be feeling, it is mother’s day and I was not going to “leave my mom hanging’.”

I started my day out with Preston coming into my room to sneak me a gummy bear. At the time I had no idea what he was doing, or where he even got the gummy from for that matter. I ate it anyway though, yikes, and then he left the room. Next I was greeted with a cup of delicious coffee. MaKayla brought it to me but I am pretty positive my husband made it 😉 I hung out in bed for a while and then headed into the living room. There I found a beautiful gift basket filled with goodies for me. I really didn’t need anything for Mother’s Day. While I love the idea of being showered with gifts of appreciation, I sort of feel like I do about Valentine’s Day when it comes to this holiday.

Very superficial.

 

I called my nephew to see if they already had plans at my mom’s house. He said no, so we came up with a game plan. I decided I’d stop by the store and pick up some things to make her lunch. I figured, we could eat, chat and I could clean up and head home in time to be ready for my own Mother’s day plans. I had a reservation at Chateau Le Green, (by the way, that’s our home).

For lunch we ate Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches and homemade steak fries. I also made her a side salad. She was the only one who ate one of those.

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Green Peppers and Onions
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I used Flap Meat by the butchers suggestion. It cooked up really nice.

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She definitely enjoyed her meal and was happy to see us.  Over all it was not quite as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. I had never made Philly cheesesteaks before so I am pretty proud of myself too.

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Mom’s side salad.
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Philly cheese steak

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We got back home around 3 o’clock. I spent the rest of the day relaxing and stalking my favorite people on social media. I tried to get all my kids outside so we could take a picture. A totally unique experience when you have four children. We managed to get a photo.

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Testing out the photo spot.
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After several tries this is what we got.

 

My wonderful husband and kids went all out for dinner. My husband continues to amaze me with his skills in the kitchen. I seriously wish he would just be the one to cook every meal, every day. Everything he makes is literally the shit! Score for a man that can cook. Sammiah made me a cute menu and they set my place at the table. MaKayla of course helped dad out in the kitchen.

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The Menu
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MaKayla set the table
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😉
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Hubs working’ it out in the kitchen.

 

They started with the appetizer which was avocado egg rolls with a cilantro lime dipping sauce. I love these avocado egg rolls from BJ’s restaurant. Hubs definitely put it down. Looks like I won’t be needing to go out to get these anymore. They were so good.

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Sammiah served me.
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Avocado Egg Rolls
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Home made Avocado egg rolls with cilantro lime dipping sauce. 

Next, A beautiful southwest salad was placed in front of me. It was a pre made salad. The kind that have all the toppings + dressing. It was actually really good and I will be eating this again for lunch one day.

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Southwest Salad
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😉

At this point, not only Am I totally impressed but I am anxiously awaiting the main course. My husband doesn’t eat shrimp so he made himself a steak instead. This was absolutely fantastic. I am not sure where he found the recipe but this will be going in the book of must make meals because I need to have this pasta again. It was a tiny bit spicy but as Bruno mars says “That’s what  I like.”

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Shrimp scampi Pasta in a lemon butter sauce.
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Amazing Mother’s Day dinner.
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I ate just about every drop. So good, so full.
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Hubs steak dinner.

They didn’t stop there. We can’t forget about the desert. The girls made chocolate chunk brownies with vanilla bean ice cream and fudge.

This whole meal was heaven.

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Yum!

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I spent the rest of my evening relaxing. No dishes, no cleaning up, no chasing little people. Simply just relaxing.

This was the perfect mother’s day. It was chill and peaceful which was exactly the intention I set for my day when I first woke up. I felt very much appreciated by the ones I work hard to care for each and everyday. Thank you so much my beautiful babies and my handsome husband. Momma definitely was pampered and fed well!

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Relaxing with my feet up.
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My cards.

 

I hope all of you mommies had a wonderful day as well.

Until next time my friends…

 

xx addie

 

Refrigerator Organization

Today was Grocery Store day! Yay!

Not!

Most of the time going to the grocery store is the highlight of my week. As a stay-at-home-mom, work at home mom, whatever you want call me, I don’t get out much these days. So you can imagine when I get out to run errands, I get excited. Except for on that one day of the month that I do my big grocery store trip.

 

Usually at the beginning of the month we are in desperate need of groceries. While meal planning, grocery lists and keeping track of the things we love to eat has been a help when it comes to making things stretch, the beginning of the month haul is usually fairly large.

Today I was fortuanate enough to be able to ride alone. This happens far, few and in between so I took full advantage. I walked up and down each aisle slowly gathering the things on my list and maybe several things that were not. My outting lasted all of about an hour and a half. I stopped and grabbed a midnight mint frappuccino from Starbucks and then headed back home.

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I had a bunch of stuff in the fridge that needed to be cleared out. So I took out all of the old food, tupper ware containers with leftovers  and practically empty soda and water bottles.

While I dreaded doing it, every month when I do a large grocery haul I clean out the refrigerator. Today I ended up taking everything out so I could wipe down all the shelves, walls and the other grossness that was in the door shelves.

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This bottom shelf had a lot of yuck on it. Mostly from things that dropped or spilled and no one cleaned it up. 

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After cleaning everything out I felt creative like perhaps it was time to change things up a bit. So I searched Pinterest for some refrigerator organization ideas. I found a few pictures that really resonated with me and that I thought would be practical for my fridge. I changed the placement of the shelves to better accommodate how we store food. I was originally using a “bin system” putting things into plastic bins. This was definitely working for a while but I still thought there was a better way to store things.

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My little “booger nose” Preston. He has a cold and keeping his nose clean is seemingly impossible right now. He was a great helper with putting the groceries away.

Once I put everything inside I was instantly in love. I think having the shelf that holds all our our drinks in the middle makes way more sense than keeping them on top. Now we can clearly see everything that is on the shelf.

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I decided to put the kids cold snacks down low where everyone can reach them. Even Preston. I am not sure yet if this is a good idea or not lol.

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I organized everything else in the best way that made sense. I really do love the way it all turned out and it is much more organized than it was before.

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The next drawer up from the bottom I am using to store all of our bagged produce.
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On the very bottom shelf I have a bin for any meat that will be cooked in the next day or two, bread and bottled water.

 

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The very top shelves house the eggs, salsa, cream cheese and left overs tupperwares. As well as more produce and bagged cheese.

I also cleaned the inside of the freezer however I didn’t move any of the shelves around. I think we are going to stick with this way for a while.

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This is the before of the freezer. 

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After I put everything back inside. 

Thanks for stopping by!

xx addie